Doctors Are Not Gods

In August of 2020, my mom experienced severe stomach pain. I remember talking to her when I lived in LA, and she said it was a level of discomfort that she had never felt before. 

“What did your doctor say?” I asked.  

“Gastritis,” my mom said. She was put on pills for thirty days.

That was that. I never bothered to think that it could be some other issue. After all, my dad (who is a retired doctor) was there as well as a number of family members to bounce information off of. Doctors are smart people, problem solved.   

My mom’s pain continued. She lost weight. She had trouble eating, constipation. You name it, she had it, and the primary care doctor devised her own explanations.

Regarding weight loss, the doctor said it was because my mom wasn’t eating properly and suggested eating more dal and rice (Indian food), which to this day, is the most ridiculous medical advice I’ve ever heard. At one point, her pcp went on vacation and the doctor on call took over who had no clue what to do aside from calling in more pain medication. 

My mom’s pain continued for three more months until finally my uncle pressed my mom to get a CT scan, which revealed stage four ovarian cancer. Her primary care physician suggested getting a biopsy and referred her to two nameless radiologists who had a three week waiting period to even get in the door.

Enough was enough.

My dad called his oncologist  friend in Buffalo who fast tracked everything at Tampa General Hospital. The cancer was confirmed and my mom started chemo the next day. (God knows what we would have done if we didn’t have contacts in the right places.)

The past two years have not been easy. The chemo infusions, surgery, more chemo. I salute my mom for putting on a brave front. Cancer patients are courageous fighters and I have utmost respect for them. I don’t know if I could have handled everything without my dad being here. 

My mom is currently back on chemo infusions that pretty much wipes her out and has changed her way of life.  

We’ve watched every Youtube video on ovarian cancer, and all the signs were there. I frequently think back. Why didn’t I Google her symptoms? Why didn’t I call my doctor friends and seek advice? Why did I do nothing? If I had just been more proactive, things would be different. Life is full of regret, and this is just one more life lesson that I don’t understand. 

Thoughts of anger bubble up sometimes, mostly of me with a shotgun, and my mom’s former pcp. Maybe she did her best, but her callous indifference toward my mom’s complaints almost proved dire. 

Doctors are not Gods. It’s OK to seek a second opinion. Nobody knows your body better than you. I hope my mom’s experience helps you and can maybe save a life. 

-Tarun