When Animals Attack

This is what I read in the news this morning:

"Deputies shot and killed 18 rare Bengal tigers, 17 lions, six black bears, two grizzlies, three mountain lions and a baboon. Six animals were captured and sent to the Columbus Zoo, a wolf was found dead and a monkey was still at large, though feared eaten by a lion."  

Forget the fact that this is news in America.  This sounds like some kind of horror movie where the zoo animals revolt and humans fight back.  My favorite part is "monkey still at large, though feared eaten by the lion" Obviously, there was some dissidence in the group and the lion took care of business. 

But seriously, this story is hilarious to me because the owner of this "animal preserve" ended up shooting himself after releasing the animals.  He pretty much was like "fuck it, if i go down this shithole town is going with me." Which brings me to my next point.  If we want to avoid such a catastrophe in the future, we need to have some kind of regulation which prohibits people from having more than 10 Bengal Tigers.  9, OK.  I get it.  But 17?!   Dangerously excessive. 

Also why did he only have one monkey?  Maybe he was like Michael Jackson and used the baboon as a personal assistant.  That would explain the lion's deep-seeded vehemence because he was finally able to seek revenge on his jailer.    

Or possibly, the owner of the preserve was trying to emulate "Noah's Arc" and was collecting specimens in case a giant flood kills us in 2012.  These specimens were supposed to be the survivors to procreate in the new Earth, in which case deputies just made them into living room rugs. 

There are a lot of unanswered questions here.  As a citizen, I think we need to demand why these animals were killed.  Me personally, I think they were super smart and were being experimented on by the government and trained like the X-Men.  They managed to escape and were put down.  The government has led us to believe an entirely different story. Yes, hard to believe but so is "wolf was found dead" insinuating that he took his own life.  

That would never happen. 

Tarun ShettyComment