Crackhead Darrell

Well, it was revealed in the news today that Darrell Hammond is a crackhead.  Ok. He isn't a crackhead but he did use crack and had to be "taken from the NBC infirmary to New York Hospital in a straitjacket" when he was on SNL.


All this time I thought he was really good at impressions, turns out he was probably going through a drug trip and was channeling the voices in his head. Go figure.  


I once did a pot brownie in the middle of the woods. I couldn't even stand up and passed out in my car.  Around 4 am a forest ranger knocked on my window, and told me I was parked on the grass.  Still high, I saw something banging on the glass and thought a monster was trying to eat me. 


Still, I'm NOT against drug use.  If it means that I'll be more successful, sign me up!  I just don't know what drug to commit to. Booze, I don't like the taste.  Needles, I'm afraid of sharp things.  Pot/Crack, I have asthma.  What's left? I guess I could sniff a bunch of paint thinner.  Is this even illegal?  Swat team busts into my apartment, and I have all these open paint cans lying around the floor.  YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!  


I guess for now I have no choice but to just settle for never reaching my full artist potential. I'm going to go to the gym now. Hey, wait a minute. I work out several times a week. Almost like I'm.... addicted.   YES! 


Tarun ShettyComment