Tarun the TV Star - May 26th 2005

Tarun the TV StarThursday, 26th May
I want to send a message to my loyal stand-up groupies. Because of this show I am currently on, I now perform mostly in Hollywood. I will have colleges lined up for next year and hope you can make it to a show.

Many of you are now reading this because you may have seen me on the tv show ‘Showbiz India Extreme’ (airing on the AZN network/fridays 9pm/sundays 12pm) and have googled my name. This web page has been up for almost three years now. Although you are a little late, I will tell you that this journal entry is riveting and is up for many literary awards.

Anyways, the segment I produce, ‘Generation Desi’ has been getting rave reviews, it’s seen by about 25 million people every week, and I have hosted about half the episodes. Because I am a control freak, I have asked to edit most of the segments myself. (hooray for film school!) I am also very grateful to our house editor, Atif Mizra, for going over my work and making it airable. For the record, I want to say that anything that’s not funny wasn’t my idea, and I have nothing to do with anything that sucks. Because many of you write in and ask what it is I now do, I have written my schedule.

The Schedule:

Monday – Come into our Pasadena office. I lock myself in my room and start brainstorming ideas for next week’s show. This usually involves me opening up my 4th story window and yelling “NAMASTE! SHOWBIZ INDIA!” to people walking on the street below. I lock myself in my office for six hours and play online poker. I emerge six hours later and brag to our secretary that I have come up with the best idea ever even though I have nothing. I lock myself in my office and resume poker.

Tuesday – Day off. I work on my stand-up act.

Weds – I come into work around 2pm and tell my boss that I’m late because I had 12 network tv auditions in the morning although in reality I was up till 4am the night before at a bar performing for drunk UCLA kids. I pitch my newest idea. ‘Tarun hangs out with three superhot desi girls to see what a typical day is like.” I get through two sentences before I am stopped and am reminded that alcohol is forbidden during office hours.

Thursday – I make about 40 phone calls to the heads of all the college south Asian student groups throughout California. I try to convince them to let me come to their school with a camera crew and use my celebrity influence. I leave messages, but I always ask the females to send me their photo in JPEG format for ‘records.’ Most people hang-up, but I am convinced that we got ‘disconnected’ and California has bad phone lines.

Friday – None of the girls I called the day before have called me back. I make more phone calls but realize that half the numbers in my ‘blackbook’ and just phone numbers to McDonalds. This one girl gave me a 1-800 number… There’s a note on my computer. ‘Reggie Benjamin’s publicist called… call back’ Reggie is a south asian singer and an international star. Apparently, they want coverage for his newest cd. Jackpot.

Sat – I meet Reggie Benjamin at his rehearsal space. Reggie Benjamin’s publicist is there and she is clearly wondering who the hell I am and why I am wearing a bandanna. ‘I’m Tarun, I host the show.’ She rolls her eyes but I know she is impressed with my star power. (Either that or she recognizes me from my Nickelodeon tv show six years ago that got me 5 minutes of on-screen time and lasted two episodes.) I also interview Reggie who happens to be a nice guy.

Sunday – I edit 11 hours straight. In college, I paid off an asian kid who sat in front of to edit my student films. (it now makes sense why my college films have so many shots of Godzilla and people running and screaming) I clock out at 1:03 in the morning. I take a moment, why am I working so hard? Are people even watching? I check my e-mail and see that someone has posted in my online guestbook. ‘Tarun your humor is dry.” I couldn’t believe it… PEOPLE ARE WATCHING! I am overjoyed with happiness because I know I have made a difference in this person’s life. God bless…

Tarun out. 
Tarun ShettyComment