Real Journal Entries From Hell May 27th 2006

Real Journal Entries From HellSaturday, 27th May

This month's journal entry is dedicated to Shawn Shetty. Get well soon :) --Tarun 

So I have been performing almost 9 years this June! Thank-you very much.

As some of you may or may not know, I am a writer at heart. I love to write and it’s probably the one thing I can do somewhat ok. Also, I have a kept an online journal over the past 9 years and have documented about 85% of the shows. Surprise! I’m insane! That’s a lot of writing! I thought maybe one day I would randomly print out pages and send them to the NY Times like some kind of crazy manifesto. Seriously, I don’t know why I started keeping tabs. It just happened, and I never stopped.

It’s interesting to see how much I’ve changed as a person. For example, on May 12, 98’ I started an entry with “I hate showbiz” while just last month on April 23, 06 I started with “ I loatheshowbiz…” I’m like a totally different person.

I’ve posted some entries from interesting times in my life. See you next month.

June 23, 97 - Boston, MA

“…so the host finally brings me up with this lame intro “have you guys seen Letterman, well he watches it too!” He did the same thing last week. What a hack. If everybody is this unfunny than I should be on television by Tuesday. I did 3 minutes. My friends said I was hilarious but a lady in the front row stood up and said “NEXT!” so I am pretty sure they are lying to me. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life…”

June 30th, 00' - New York, NY

... I saw Dave Chappelle again tonight. He remembered that I opened for him back in Boston. He is a really nice guy! I've never seen anyone so natural on stage. I think he’s going to be super famous one day. He told me that his writing partner Neal Brennan also used to work the door so maybe there’s hope for me. He told me ‘just don’t care and things start to happen.’ Well, starting today, I don’t care.

September 14, 01 – New York, NY

Just got escorted out of Uptown Comedy Club. It’s an urban club in Queens, which means pretty much all black people. I don’t know why I agreed to this. I get up and everybody starts chanting. “Go home Osama” and “You Suck.” They wouldn’t even give me a chance. I was so angry. So I just said the first thing off the top of my head “You don’t think I was affected by this. On Sept 11th, I woke up late for work. I put on the TV and saw the plane go into the building. I was like “Man, they did it without me! What am I supposed to do with all these boxcutters?” This guy threw a glass full of ice and hit me from the back of the room. Another lady nailed me with an ashtray. Not only did I incite a riot but also I had to leave through the back door. The host also told me I should ‘come back next week.’ Great.

August 11th 05 - Hollywood, CA

Saturday night. Woo-hoo! Just performed at an Indian engagement party at the Makala Indian Restaurant. This is what my career has come to, whoring myself out to my ethnic class. I had to have at least done 45 minutes. It was a lot of fun. I built my act in New York in front of American tourists so I had a bit of trouble at times. I don’t even care! I don’t think half the audience has even seen a comedy show before so I could have gone on stage with sock puppets and said it was stand-up comedy…And I still got paid! HAHAHAHAHA!

May 23, 06 Hollywood CA

Weds again. Did stand-up comedy twice this week. Haven’t been motivated to write but I took time off cause I was prepping all week for an audition to play a gay terrorist on Showtime. Hmmm, that definitely does not read well… I question, is this is life? Why am I always chasing something? High school, college, present. I did, however, feel really proud of myself after I left the casting office. That’s never happened. I am the worst auditioner and usually want to jump out a window.

I think maybe that’s the key to happiness. To have objectives rather than specific goals. To be a role model, to break down stereotypes and barriers for other South Asians. Or maybe just have really, really low expectations. Either way, I can't miss.
Tarun ShettyComment