The Bachelor Party

The following names have been changed because I don’t want to embarrass anyone.

When I was selling used cars, I sold a hatchback to a customer named, Nick Goldstein. He was super nerdy with tattooed arms. He found out that I did comedy and told dumb jokes during the test drive. I could deal with that, but I got annoyed when he blew up my phone AFTER he bought the car. It’s not normal to befriend customers, and I made excuses until he disappeared off my radar.  

When I worked on the business side of entertainment, I met this producer named Nick Goldstein. We started as assistants and Nick became a player in Hollywood. I’ve known him for years, and we’re friends.

I wasn’t surprised when Nick sent me an email asking me to go to his bachelor party in Vegas. It sounded like a wild weekend. I’m not a big drinker, and I don’t party. But for Nick, sure, why not. 

I RSVP’d and headed down to the Wynn Hotel on a Friday afternoon. I hadn’t spoken to Nick in months but that’s normal. Everybody is busy in Hollywood. The protocol is set drinks and reschedule twelve times until you get lucky. I thought we would catch up at the party. We also had mutual friends, and I was excited to see familiar faces.  

I remember walking into the hotel bar where we were scheduled to meet. I didn’t see anybody that I recognized when a voice sounded behind me. 

“Tarun! You made it!” 

And there he was - Nick Goldstein, the guy who I had sold a car to and his brother. 

I stood dumbfounded, trying to figure out what was happening. He grew a mustache and I hadn’t seen him in three years so it took me a minute to realize my mistake. 

“There he is!” I said.   

This dude was the biggest loser I had ever met. He was getting married and the two guys he invited to his bachelor party was his brother, and a guy he bought a used car from. I actually stayed one night. (We got dinner at a steakhouse and went to a strip club.) The next morning, I made up an excuse that an emergency came up and bailed. 

I called my real friend Nick on the way home, and he laughed his ass off. 

“First off, I would never invite you to my bachelor party,” he said.

I wonder what happened to the other Nick. I’m sure I’ll find out when I see him at his ten-year anniversary party.